The age old question, “how can we interfere with peoples lives further” was dealt a blow this week. Anti-abortionists and right-to-lifers were tweaking their perky nipples in anticipation of the “Personhood” measure being put on the ballots in several states.Personhood USA is a nonprofit Christian group who is trying to get nation wide acceptance of the notion that life begins at conception. Conception my friends for those who are bio 101 challenged, is the point at which the female egg is successfully fertilized by the male sperm cell. The official point at which the 9 month gestation period of birth for humans begin.

So in a nutshell (pun intended), these lunatics want to make it legal to arrest you for murder if you destroy or otherwise harm these two cells. Again, render these two cells null and void and you can go to prison for 25 years. Mind you, fertilized eggs aren’t guaranteed to become anything more than a spot on a pad or a drop in the toilet. But they want the morning after pill to become the modern day smoking gun. Fortunately for those of us don’t have Jesus as our co-pilot, the measure was voted down 58%-42%, in Mississippi no less. You can get raped by a donkey in Mississippi, and they would want you to have the child. Or is that the state where they rape donkeys? In either case Mississippians are not to be trusted on matters of rape, abortion, or donkey lovin.

So the question is how could sweet condensed milk Jesus have let one of his most obedient states to vote in this most unchristian and sacrilegious manner. Well my friends it seems a miracle took place in the heart of the Bible belt. People actually started to think. HOLY SHIT!!! Thought? That is what God fought so hard against in Genesis. Remember, Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge and God said wait a minute, if you learn shit you might ask me questions that I have no intelligent answer for and then you would know i’m full of shit. So before that happens you two naked sinners need to get the fuck out of this garden and just start having ignorant uniformed sex because I need a few billion more of you to worship me and sooth my pathetic egomaniacal insecurities. I’m paraphrasing the bible of course.

Indeed, people started thinking about what the long term ramifications of such a severe turn in the social and legal direction of our lives. Some questions arose such as what will it mean for women’s reproductive rights? Will you face prosecution if the fertilized eggs from IVF go unused? Will birth control become outlawed? And for the Mississippians, how can I take my donkey to family court for child support if he can’t write his name, doesn’t have a SS #, or will be dead before his child gets to high school? What would Jesus do?

About Thecss:
I am THE CSS. Those of you who know me know that I am a man who says pretty much what is on his mind. At times I seem to have little regard for the thoughts or feelings of others. I have been labeled a robot, a monster, detached, and other unfavorable things in my short lifetime. Less than a handful however have ever queried as to why that might be. And to be quite fair, I haven’t extended an invitation to my “inner demons”. Well that is about to change. ... Read More..

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