Before I begin, I must remind you that I am a jaded city dweller, with a twisted sense of humor. That being said, a friend recently introduced me to an app for Droid phones called “Sex Offender Search”. I found it hilarious. Once you’re logged in and start the app, the first thing you’ll notice is that you’re surrounded by perverted, arch villains. You never really think about just how many criminals are within arm’s reach of you at any given moment, but apparently there are plenty.  The app gives you the perv’s address, criminal offense, and even their mug shot. I have to say, some of these guys look like rape was their only alternative.

One of the things I noticed as I GPS’ed around my city was that these fiends tend to live in clusters. Groups of dick-flashers live within blocks of each other, like they were lodge members. The crimes ranged from the normal, 1st, 2nd, or 3rd degree rape. Then the unthinkable, raping the crippled or mentally challenged. Now, I saw a hot chick at a club once who didn’t have any arms. I asked myself, ‘would you do her’?  I eventually came to the conclusion that I would. It wasn’t because she couldn’t slap me if I touched her titty. It was because the rest of her that was still there looked damn good. Crippled folks tend to be kind of disproportionate and icky. And what kind of sick bastard wants to look in the face of a retarded person gurgling drool, as he’s trying to hit her ‘spot’? Yeah, these people need to be locked up.

Another interesting trend that caught my attention was, all the areas where guys were arrested for pimping, was what one would call ‘ethnic’. You know, where the blacks live. Shocking? Not in the least. Pimping is a long held tradition of the blacks according to Snoop Dog and Bishop Don “Magic” Juan . . two names you can trust in black sex crimes.  Equally interesting was that most crimes that involved minors or ‘kiddie-porn” involved your creepy, yet least suspected whites. Once again, are you surprised? An ugly truth many don’t like to acknowledge is that most stereotypes are rooted in facts. Take the movie “Deliverance” for instance. It has become the staple of the  in-bread, rural-rape stereotype. And yet, I GPSed north of the city to upstate NY and what do I find? A little, tiny  town called Gloversville that houses no less than 25 sex offenders. These hillbilly’s are raping like there’s no tomorrow up there. And for the virginity of some of those town dwellers, there may not be a tomorrow.

Now . . . I feel a sense of responsibility to say that even though these guys have been convicted of sex crimes, some of them may  still be innocent. There are a number of cases where a guy gets hauled off to jail because he didn’t call the girl back, or wouldn’t leave his wife for her or whatever. So before you go hunting these guys down, and lopping off their genitals, just make sure you have concrete evidence of their crimes. And either way, just remember, don’t mention my name to the cops. Lastly, I would like to say that out of the fifty or so people I looked up on this app, I found one woman on the list. She was convicted of sodomy. For  the uninformed, sodomy is not just anal sex,  it’s also oral sex. My guess is she copulated a minor, since most men would never file charges over a blow job. Also, I think it was a kid because she reminded me of my fourth grade teacher. Boy . . . I miss her so. (sigh)

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About Thecss:
I am THE CSS. Those of you who know me know that I am a man who says pretty much what is on his mind. At times I seem to have little regard for the thoughts or feelings of others. I have been labeled a robot, a monster, detached, and other unfavorable things in my short lifetime. Less than a handful however have ever queried as to why that might be. And to be quite fair, I haven’t extended an invitation to my “inner demons”. Well that is about to change. ... Read More..

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