Sociopath – so·cio·path - Pronounced: /ˈsoʊsijəˌpæθ/- noun : someone who behaves in a dangerous or violent way towards other people and does not feel guilty about such behavior.

You hear a lot of people pine away for the 60′s and 70′s. Many folks have a strong belief that they were born in the wrong era. Some even feel that they were here before. They wish they could have total recall of their previous lives. I wish that I were a true, unadulterated sociopath. I mean, lets be real. There is a time and place for everything. I feel that the time and place to display ungodly (even though there is none) sociopathic violence, is in a movie theater. To be more specific, directed firmly towards the animals, who after all of the ad space the corporations pay for to tell everyone to SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP, still keep talking throughout the whole fuckin movie. SERIOUSLY, how long have we been listening to these cheaply produced snippets asking us . . . begging us, to not disrupt our neighbor with incessant yapping? Now they’ve actually turned it into full blown productions, beseeching the civilized corner of our primate brains to not babble for the duration of the film. We’re paying the price of a blow-job from back in the 90′s, to see a retread story from Hollywood. Can we at least see it in PEACE?

I sat in the theater tonight going through the same mental process I usually do when this happens. I try to figure out what sequence of verbal exchanges will not end with me sinking my forefinger, knuckle-deep into these Silverbacks eye sockets. You try to do the silent ‘turn around’, to make them aware of your discomfort. You may even do the quick “excuse me”, and then return focus to the screen. However, if you’ve been through this enough times, you can quickly asses who will turn out to be the loud and belligerent assholes. Heaven forfend, these jackals have been suckling  from the teet of the whiskey-sow. It’s going to be a knuckle buster for sure. My problem is that I take all of these things into consideration in the first place. I actually have a future. I have things I want to do, and some of them can only be achieved with the absence of blood-thirsty homicide on my record. I realize that the mere fact that I’m writing this, precludes me from claiming insanity, of any duration, during a murder trial. But the thought of this Hun, choking on his own tongue, after I’ve severed it with my house keys, just makes my nipples all perky. I would gleefully put his grey matter in my shoes for extra arch support. Nothing would bring me more Valhall-ian joy, than to have my ears ringing with his screams, as his epidermis crackles in a roaring blaze.

The only downside to this ‘cleanse’ fantasy, is that the troglodytes might very well not be aware of their offense. These particular offenders were what one would call  ’mouth breathers’. These nomads sounded as if cinema was a reward, freshly bestowed upon them from the Gods (even though there are none). They were repeating the movie lines they found entertaining as well as pertinent to the storyline. They seem to be piecing the movie together out loud, so that it would make sense to them. Have you ever ‘heard’ a person reading? Well it was like that, except someone else had just said what they were saying. I had to laugh at one point because it sounded like 4-year-olds figuring out a “Curious George” book. Except in this case, the only chips I wanted to give them as a snack were ‘cow chips’. Yet and still, my friends wonder why I like to stay in my home? It’s because I’m too good looking to go to jail.


About Thecss:
I am THE CSS. Those of you who know me know that I am a man who says pretty much what is on his mind. At times I seem to have little regard for the thoughts or feelings of others. I have been labeled a robot, a monster, detached, and other unfavorable things in my short lifetime. Less than a handful however have ever queried as to why that might be. And to be quite fair, I haven’t extended an invitation to my “inner demons”. Well that is about to change. ... Read More..

Related posts: