Everyone has had one of those “damn, why didn’t I think of that” moments. Well, I’m having one now and gosh-darnet, it’s a doozy. You have probably heard the term ‘gay-dar’ before. It’s the ability to sense when an individual (usually a man) is sweeter than a bake sale. I have to confess that my ‘gay-dar’ is more broke than a retired-black NFL player. I just have no clue if a guy is gay or not, at least when he’s not being obvious about it. And I’m fairly sure it stems from the fact that I couldn’t give a shit either way. However, even when an individual is brought to my attention, i’m still like “really?”
But now I have found salvation! Well, not really. But, this should put a twinkle in the eye of every tootsie roll with a smart phone. And that would be all of them, cuz you know how rich the gays are . . . damn gays. Anyway I read an article that says a company called ACME AtronOmatic, made a ‘gay-dar’ app for your ‘smart’ device. See what I mean about my ‘gay-dar’? I watched Road Runner cartoons for years and didn’t realize the coyote was gay. It does explain his relentless pursuit of the Road Runner. But I digress. So basically when you turn this app on , it sends out a signal, a gay-as-the-day-is-long signal. Anyone who is also running this app will pick up your signal and vice-versa. It will alert the both of you that the other is lightly gliding by on a cloud of stardust. You can then check out his profile. You can see if you are a match, what his hobbies are, or if he’s had any major rectal surgery that could impede the physical part of a possible relationship. If all things are thumbs up, you can then use an add-on app (purchased separately) to locate the closest public bathrooms in the immediate area. You can even sort them by cleanliness and glory-hole availability.
This is the new era of internet dating. You wont have to sit at home on your computer anymore sorting through profiles, and inspecting pictures for Photoshop or expiration dates. Now you can go about your daily business, and when a person matches your requirements, ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. This technological advancement can really put a dent in sex crimes. Now all a rapist has to do is wait until he passes a chick who is into ‘rape fantasies’ and boom, a match made in psychotic heaven. He gets to rape, she gets to be raped, and no one goes to jail or is scarred for fucking life. It also works for gays, priests, and dog lovers. You know what I’m talking about; stop the bullshit. This could expand to murderers and suicidal folks. Then there are the Black supremacists and Caucasians stricken with white guilt. This would be a glorious coupling of the world and the achievement of peace and harmony. My category would be poor boy-toy writer looking for sugar-momma. Age and race not important. I love to laugh. I live life to the fullest. I’m not into any head games or drama. And I have the add-on bathroom locator app. Hope to hear from you soon.
I am THE CSS. Those of you who know me know that I am a man who says pretty much what is on his mind. At times I seem to have little regard for the thoughts or feelings of others. I have been labeled a robot, a monster, detached, and other unfavorable things in my short lifetime. Less than a handful however have ever queried as to why that might be. And to be quite fair, I haven’t extended an invitation to my “inner demons”. Well that is about to change. ... Read More..