Denver Broncos QB Tim “That’s not blood in my urine, it’s sacramental wine” Tebow, just recently completed his greatest game-winning heroics to date. In one play, the very first play of overtime, he sent the Pittsburgh Steelers back to their disturbingly obese fan base in shame. Now all the sports reporters, news casters, and football scribes are licking his balls yet again. But it’s not the balls of Tebow that are being suckled. It’s the balls of Tebow’s personal lord and savior and position coach, sweet candy-corned Jesus. These morons are yet again questioning, damn near bowing at the thought that Tebow, who is a religious lunatic, is being personally endorsed by the son of the almighty.
First of all, during the end of Tebow’s 3-game losing streak at the end of the season, the proclamation was not that he was the chosen one, it was that he was the exposed one. Throughout the land these blowhards were wiping their brows in relief because the Godless world that they know and love was back. Tebow was a bum, there was no God, and they’ll never have to answer for giving their wives Herpes they contracted from that tranni Thai prostitute. But one game later and the hand of God is visible once again.
The funny thing is that this is the biggest insult that they heap on Tebow, and they heap a lot of shit on him. And rightfully so I might add. Think about it. The sports world is replete with hypocrite athletes who are constantly gesturing to the sky in supposed thanks to their creator for allowing them to perform the endorsement generating act they just pulled off. There isn’t a negro who can dunk a ball in the NBA who doesn’t thank his God after a big win or after the chick who says the baby is his “accidentally” falls down a flight of stairs and loses it. No one ever brings up a higher power when discussing their success however. During the very same game that Tebow just won, Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger was pointing to the sky after he threw a touchdown that tied the game up in the fourth quarter. You may have thought it looked strange because Roethlisberger is a Jew and apparently doesn’t know that Jesus hates his guts. I thought it looked strange because Ben is usually pointing downward. That’s how he quietly tells the chick he has cornered in the bathroom to take her panties off before shit starts gettin violent up in this bitch.
Entertaining the notion that religion or faith has any sort of influence on the outcome of sporting events has to be one of the new lows of society. There are 3 reasons why this is getting any airtime at all. The first is because religion is a hot button issue. You bring up Jesus, Jehovah, or Allah and you are going to get the phones ringing off the hook at your t.v. or radio station. This brings us to reason number two, which of course is money. Controversy equals cash. It also equals an opportunity for pop culture whore like lady Gaga to tweet about his exploits. I read somewhere that “Tebowing” has now become an official word. It is what Tim Tebow does after he scores which is simply kneeling down on one knee, putting his fist to his head, and thanking his agent . . . I mean God for filling him with the talent to perform his latest miracle. And there in lies the irony of it all and reason number three. It’s a miracle that he does what he does because he has no talent. Tebow is easily the worst QB anyone has seen on the professional level in the modern era. Again, how else do you explain him beating 6 teams in a row throwing like the ball is covered in wet cement? The experts can’t explain it. So what has man done since dawn of time when they can’t logically explain an event? They give all credit to the invisible man in the sky.
This brings me to the poor devil. Not only do none of these athletes praise the devil for their success, they don’t even curse his name when they choke or fuck up in general. Are we to believe that they believe in the power of the lord, but not the devil? Basic religious dogma states that you can’t have one without the other. You can’t have good without evil. You can’t have God without the Devil. I would give my anal virginity to see the look on Al Michaels face as Tom Brady thanks his dark master after a victory this weekend. But knowing Belichick he wouldn’t even say you’re welcome.
I am THE CSS. Those of you who know me know that I am a man who says pretty much what is on his mind. At times I seem to have little regard for the thoughts or feelings of others. I have been labeled a robot, a monster, detached, and other unfavorable things in my short lifetime. Less than a handful however have ever queried as to why that might be. And to be quite fair, I haven’t extended an invitation to my “inner demons”. Well that is about to change. ... Read More..