Sloooowly the wheels turn. Step by step, inch by inch, we creep closer to the event horizon. I have been told that in Arizona – you remember Arizona? That’s the state where they are planning on branding all Mexicans with an orange tree with a line going through it. Yeah them. So in Arizona you can now carry concealed and non-concealed weapons. Of course you have to have a license, but thats just a mere formality.  A friend of mine has relatives who live there. They told her that they saw a guy in the grocery store with a sawed off shotgun strapped to his leg like Han Solo. That’s fuckin cool. I’d love to watch the clerk explain the price of bacon to that guy. Instead of squeezing melons to see if they’re ripe, housewives will be shooting from the hip to see if it pops off the stand or just backspins in place.

Not to be outdone of course, Texas is coming up with something better. No, they’re not handing out pistols to death row inmates to lower that cost of executions. They are planning to pass a bill to allow teachers and students on college campuses to pack concealed heat. Stop scratching your head in confusion and read the reasoning behind this. They believe this is the way to help, the helpless students and faculty during those pesky campus shootings that are becoming an American tradition. They noted in particular, the Virginia Tech ‘dick’ who stopped playing with his, and shot his load all over that campus, killing 32 people. They specifically pointed to all the students he killed as they were trapped in their classrooms and were sitting targets. The proponents of this bill feel that if one or more of those students had a ‘gat’ in his backpack, many more lives could have been saved. Ya gotta love Texas. This completely explains the Bush administration. Blasting the shit out of people is the answer for all the problems in the world. This is why Bush should have been blasted. It would have solved all of the problems in the world. But I’m sure that’s not quite what they had in mind.

As retarded as this idea may sound. I have to say I’m for it. I’m for it mostly because it’s in Texas and I don’t live there, but i’m definitely for it. If the profile of a bully is true, then this could be at the very least, an interesting solution. Bullies like picking on people weaker than themselves. So do criminals. Why do you think it’s a big deal when a person shoots a cop? It’s because you have to be a special type of bad-ass to do some shit like that. And apparently most degenerate criminals are of the garden variety. So if that’s the case, it would seem logical that if more people were strapped like Kunta, a piece of shit mugger, burglar, or thief would at least have reason to pause before he went about his heinous business. Without guns, how many people would simply stand by and allow crimes to be perpetrated right before their eyes while taking no action? The answer of course is most if not all.  If you saw a woman fighting a mugger for her purse would you run up and try to wrestle granny’s handbag from ‘fingers Mcgee’? Of course you wouldn’t. You would put your hand to your mouth and say “oh my, isn’t that terrible”. But now just imagine if you were across the street. Totally out of the sight of the criminal. Granny is screaming to the heavens until her ‘uppers’ go flying out of her mouth. Everything is going in slow motion, as the assailant has his back to you. Then you reach down and pull up your big, cold .357 auto-mag. You know that big Shaq-stoppin Dirty Harry bastard, that cripples on contact. You take aim and blast a hole in this scum, safely preventing a crime. Sure you take out granny’s hip cuz the bullet went straight through him and hit her. But she had it replaced once, so they have the parts on file already. I think that’s the type of world I’d like to live in, after we see how it works out for Texas first of course.

 

About Thecss:
I am THE CSS. Those of you who know me know that I am a man who says pretty much what is on his mind. At times I seem to have little regard for the thoughts or feelings of others. I have been labeled a robot, a monster, detached, and other unfavorable things in my short lifetime. Less than a handful however have ever queried as to why that might be. And to be quite fair, I haven’t extended an invitation to my “inner demons”. Well that is about to change. ... Read More..

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